What happens to us after we die really scares me. In some aspect, I just want to be brutal yet realistic and believe we will just remain in our graves and rot away whilst everyone continues with their sad lives. Although, I do speculate on whether when we die is it simply a physical thing or is it mentally too? Perhaps we continue to wonder, dream and wish. I've always had this vision that once you die you are just floating in infinite darkness, almost like space but without the stars and planets and you're not really floating but have an almost drowning sensation in which you cannot escape from nor control but just have to close your eyes and accept it by which point you're enjoying this drowning passion because you know you're already dead so there is nothing to be scared about.

It makes me really sad that there is nothing after this because even if there in no purpose in life, you still have control over it. If I wanted to go out for a walk I could and if I wanted to go to sleep, I can because I know I'll wake up but if you're dead, you're dead and that is it. So when people regard death as a freeing concept of habitual life and that being dead is basically like sleeping, you're wrong. If anything, death takes away all freedoms that life does and doesn't give you. It's a trap that people enclose their desires in because they've had enough of actual life. Little do they know there is even less after this shit. I'm not saying I'm content here but if I wanted to have a lollipop right now, I could because I'm alive.